Well, it happened.

I have graduated from college. While the actual day of graduation was stressful and frustrating, I did indeed walk across a stage and receive my degree (sort of). I'm still waiting for my actual diploma, but such is life. I do indeed have a degree, just not the paper that it's printed on.

I am living at home. I unpacked, sorted through, and have gotten rid of most of the stuff I owned. Clothes that I never wore and items from my childhood that I do not need are sitting in bags in my living room, creating obstacles for my blind dog to trip over. My room is surprisingly bare, and the once busy walls are now painted a soothing tan. I miss my old beach theme, but this room will last until my parents move out, whether I am sleeping in it or guests are.

Drum corps starts in a little over a week, and while excited, I'm apprehensive as well. I just hope my joints can hold up. It's my age out, and I want so badly to participate fully this summer. If my knees make it this one last season, I promise I will go easy on them in the future.

It has not totally sunk in that this fall, for the first time in 17 years, I will not be going to school. Hopefully, I will have some sort of job, even if it's not a career. But I will not be forced to read things I do not want to, nor will I have to deeply analyze what I read. It seems crazy, that all of a sudden I have so much free time and no academic obligations. I have a feeling that my sense of "grown up-ness" will sink in much more in August than it is right now.

Goodbye, March

It's hard to imagine that March with all its thirty-one days is finished. April looms ahead with papers, deadlines, books to read, and the final reading/study day of my college career. However, the start of April looks to be beautiful, as March is finishing up nicely. The weather here is perfect - sunny, slightly breezy, and warm. If April promises to start as nicely, then good riddance, March. You were rainy, cold, and stressful.

I feel like recently, there have been chinks taken out of my faith in humanity. The lies, cheating, and scandal that have become commonplace headlines are just a part of it. I don't want to discuss my feelings for health care bill or any actual political views, but the lack of civility by demonstrators on both sides saddens me. Have we lost all humanity that we cannot hold discussions on our differing opinions without resulting to death threats, spitting, and throwing bricks? I am all for being passionate about what you believe, but please, do it with a grain of civility. If this is a shadow of how we will behave in the future, I do not want any part of it.

However, whenever I feel like I am surrounded by the news of negativity, the little actions of friends and strangers always cheer me up. Whether I read about a good Samaritan in the paper or someone holds the door for me instead of letting it fall in my face, those moments restore my faith in humanity.

So here's to the closing of March and the promise of a busy but exciting April. I just hope the weather stays this nice the entire month.

And fire's a beautiful sound

I’ve been sick. I had some sort of nasty strep throat/sinus infection thing at the beginning of this previous week. The nurse practitioner gave me amoxicillin, so that quickly broke my fever. I still have some lingering congestion, but am feeling much better on the whole.

I have approximately four days (two days of class) until spring break. I need this break. I need to relax on the beach and not think about what defines Faulkner’s style, or trace the way causal reasoning develops in infants, or worry about whether the action in my story is blatant, or try and read more than my brain can hold, or whether everyone has emailed me submissions for the undergrad journal, or reading through proofs and looking for typos and spacing errors. I can read novels that I get to choose. I can eat without thinking about calories. I can be on vacation!

Next Saturday through Thursday, I will be journeying with my best friend and her family to Vero Beach, Florida. I’m excited about everything, even the twelve hour car ride. Then I come home to relax for a bit, spend some time with the Boy, help a little with drum corps camp, and enjoy life. Then it’s back to the daily grind of my last semester, but I’m not thinking about that

And jumping a head a bit, I have purchased my cap and gown for graduation. I went through "graduation central" to purchase it, talk with career services, pay to extend my university email, and fill out info for a door prize. So barring any unforeseen failures of classes, I'll be receiving my degree on May 8th. In a way, it feels so surreal - that graduation is actually here; these past four years have flown by. At the same time, I have put so much effort into these four years that I feel ready to move on to the next stage of my life. Grad school is not happening anytime soon, and I am perfectly okay with the thought of no more school for awhile.

One of my friends asked me a while back if I planned on living my whole life in Nashville. I answered that I didn't know, but the question made me think. What if I do spend my whole life in Nashville? It's always been home. Don't get me wrong - I love traveling and experiencing new places and events. However, there's such a feeling of homecoming whenever I make it back to the gentle, rolling hills of middle Tennessee. So is it bad if I end up calling Nashville and its surroundings "home" for my life?

As usual, those are the thoughts that have been clouding my mind recently. Now my brain is ready to receive some more thoughts. So until next time.

It has been brought to my attention that I have not updated this in quite some time. So here it goes.

I am in my last semester of college. With graduation in 3 months and 5 days, I feel the pressure to become an adult. Become an adult and make gigantic decisions about my future. I refuse. I do not refuse to grow up. Instead, I refuse to think that the decisions I make in the next coming months are worth more weight than the decisions I have made in the past four, past eight years.I remember how terrified I was when I was trying to pick a college. I was overwhelmed by the weight of the decision. But I received some very good advice then that went something like this: "This decision is no more important than what you will wear tomorrow or who you will sit next to at lunch. Just remember, whatever decision you make will be right. It will all turn out okay."

That's the approach I'm taking towards what I'm doing after graduation. I do know I am moving home so that I can march my very last summer of drum corps with Music City. I do know I am in charge of Franklin's guard program. I do know that I want to find something fulfilling and enjoyable with my next few months after drum corps. I need a job to pay my student loans. But it's hard to tell people my post-graduation plans when they ask. So I just give them the basic "find a job" answer. Or try to find a job.

I am not marching winter guard this year. It was the best choice for my health (saving my knees for the summer). I miss performing and bonding with people in the group, but I do not miss the stresses that came with marching, having only Sunday nights to do a weekend's worth of homework. I enjoyed sitting in the audience in the first show I attended. I was able to relax and soak up the performers' energy.

My senior seminar class is perhaps the most interesting class I have taken in my college career. We are discussing what is literature. We are reading all sorts of genre fiction. Genre fiction is the all the that are sold in Borders or Barnes & Noble but are not included in the "Literature" section (sci-fi, romance, mystery, action/adventure). It is really refreshing to be reading books that are not considered "literature" by those in the book world. The first book we are reading is Ilium, a sci-fi book based around the Trojan War that may or may not be taking place on Mars. It is a very intriguing read, and we're speaking about the qualities that do or do not make the work literature. I am excited for the rest of this class.

I am now at my friends' house, waiting for Pizza Hut to come. Don't usually eat pizza, but it's $10 for any pizza, any size. We're too cheap to pass up that.

(Hopefully I will be writing in this blog more often)

Yet another pretty average day.

And that's what I dislike about the school routine. Every day just seems pretty okay. I guess I could consider it an accomplishment that I speak up in class, complete my schoolwork, and generally just make it through the day. But I hate how each day becomes just another day. Hence I love this quote:

"Push the urge away to wake up feeling just the same as yesterday" (NeedtoBreathe).

So I try to take it to heart and make something about each day special and unique. It's a process I'm still struggling with, but I'm trying.

Tomorrow shouldn't be average though, because I get to see the family! I'm going home to teach Franklin on Saturday. It's their first show of the year, and it should be a productive practice day on top of that. The rain just needs to go away!

My coffeemaker is set. The Doctor's Wife and my fluffy bed are calling my name.

Night of television

Wednesday nights are my nights of television. So You Think You Can Dance followed by Glee. Lots of music and dancing, just how I like my life. The best part is that friends come over to watch them with me, so it's also social hour. My mom sends me text message commentary too.

Today was a pretty average day. I went to classes, ate lunch, went to work, did some homework. I'm actually ahead in most of my classes. It's a wonderful feeling. However, I have tests and papers coming up, so I doubt I'll be ahead for much longer.

Starting to get excited about the weekend. No college debauchery planned for this student; instead I'm going home to see the band program I teach march in their first show. I should be able to see some people and hang out a bit, so it's shaping up to be a good weekend.

I hope tomorrow is as stress-free as today. ^Karma cap!^

I promise.

I promise I haven't forgotten about this blog, so

I promise to do my very, very best to write something in this EVERY single day. Even if it's a sentence, I will write something. Anything.

Summer has come and gone, although Evansville weather does not reflect this change yet. It's still hot and humid, no matter how many times the weatherpeople promise relief is on the way.

I sit here, in my very first apartment, and think that I'm facing another semester. But it's not just another semester. It's my final fall semester. I am a senior. A year from now, I will (hopefully) be living in another apartment and (hopefully) have a real-person job that I (hopefully) love and enjoy.

I want to go back to Nashville.
But that's really the only certain thing about my future right now, though.

Oh, the uncertainty. I don't really mind it though.

Now, the Netsilik Eskimo are calling my name, telling me to read the rest of my assignment on them.

Day 1 of promise completed; now many more to go.